You

I think I may be in love with you. You will probably never know though. I can't let you know. You need to know. Why must it be so complicated? This game of love? Life would be simpler without it, yet not as beautiful. How do I get over you when in reality I don't want to? I just wish I knew how you feel so I could get over you if you didn't love me or I wouldn't give up if you did. But maybe if you didn't love me back, I wouldn't be able to get over you. This is where I wish you would just show up one day and say you love me and that you always have and you don't want me to go alone anymore. I hate what you do to me and yet I love it at the same time. I hope you read this and know it's about you so that maybe you would understand the rollercoaster I go through on a daily basis. I can't stop thinking about you. You fill my every thoughts even when I don't even notice. You make me feel like a person who has lost their sanity and now I'm checking into the insane asylum. I love you...

Count- My beast!

Sept 14, 2011

So I tried to find a horse to lease in Fort Collins and there are none. Lame. My parents said I could lease a horse only if it's for under $100 a month... I wish I was rich so I could just buy my own horse. Life would be better. Oh well. Hopefully one day I'll save up enough money to buy a horse. For now I gues I'll just keep daydreaming about owning one. And luckily I still have my Count Count. The most amazing horse in the world. He is my baby and I love him :]

Tomorrow I have to go out to the Equine Center for class. We get to look at different types of saddles and bits so it should be pretty interesting! I also have to study for my Intro to Equine Science and bio class. Bleh. I hate bio. I just hope it's an easy test...

Andddd, 1 day 'till I get to go home and see my family, friends, and Count! I'm excited! I really wanna ride Count right now haha. I miss him even though I rode him a week ago lol :D

Update

Heyyyy

I haven't been on here in forever! So anywayy, I started college 3 weeks ago. I go to Colorado State University. It's been a difficult change. I'm constantly homesick even though I go home on the weekends. I wish I could go back to high school. I miss it a lot. My classes here are rediculously huge! There are like 200 to 300 people in most of my classes. I hate it. I really don't want to go here anymore but it's a little too late. I'm thinking of just going this year and then quitting. Who knows what'll happen though...

I graduate from Westernaires in 2 months. I'm not excited at all. I want to stay in it forever. I'm gonna miss Crimson, liberty, and my Count Count so much! I really want to graduate off of Count but it doesn't look like it'll happen... I'm not ready to leave. I just wish I could go back to freshmen year when I was still in high school and had a long time left in Westernaires. I'm not sure how I'm gonna deal with graduating. Westernaires is the main thing I look forward to every weekend, it's whats helping me survive college.

But yeah, that's basically how I've been feeling... I'm just so done with everything. Everyone at my school is so outgoing and then there's me. I'm the socially awkward introvert. It sucks immensly. I just wanna be done and go home. I miss my family, friends, and old life.

So there's my lame depressing update on life. Hopefully things get better soon.

Until next time,
Damara